But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She's JV to your varsity
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
