How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
