I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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