its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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