these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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