remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
