My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
