Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
