But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
