hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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