And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize