I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
