Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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