Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
