God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
