He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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