A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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