Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
