just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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