She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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