I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
