ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
