Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
