i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
