Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
