I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
