AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
