Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
