did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
