Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
