There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
