I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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