Jerry, you need to find god
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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