you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
