Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize