new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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