did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
