I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I believe in your delicious
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
