belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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