whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
