Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
