she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
