And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
