put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize