new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
