Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
