a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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