We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There's always time for handjobs
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
