She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
