Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize