After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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