The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
