after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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