Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
