Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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