We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
