My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This house was built for laser tag.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
