I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
