She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
