On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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