i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
