Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Watching her eat just hurts me
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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