can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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