the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize